in Journal
Sun, 04 Jan 2004, 00:01
I quit drinking, then saw Joi's comment that he had also quit, then Halley's - perhaps this is an emergent phenomenon?
I quit drinking once before, in the 80s, for about six years. Those six years were among my most productive. Around that time I became involved with net.activism, started writing for publication, cofounded FringeWare, Inc., edited the 'consciousness' section of the Millennium Whole Earth Catalog, learned a lot about publishing and technology, managed some large projects, met a lot of people from all over the world who were converging on technoculture, and set a path for myself that I lost through distraction during the Internet boom years. When I started drinking again, I was moderate, but when the boom ended and I was considering what to do next, I started drinking more. I felt that my drinking was under control - it was always in the evening, "to unwind," and didn't seem to be affecting my work. However as I got insanely busy over the last few months, it was apparent that drinking was having an effect on my energy level. I wondered if it was affecting other things - my judgement, my weight, my health overall?
Since I quit drinking I have more energy, more focus, and I'm confident that I can get stuff done. Am I an alcoholic? I think my drinking was out of control, though I pretended otherwise - like waiting until the end of the work day to start drinking. Obviously that's a good idea, but it's relatively meaningless if you don't control the amount you drink after 6pm, and I didn't.
I like the idea that we're not anonymous here, that we're confronting our issues with alcohol in the open. That might not be the best for everybody, but I think it helps expose the problem and will perhaps help others question the role of alcohol in their lives... so that sobriety can be an emergent thing among more and more of us who hang out online and are hoping to use whatever skills we have to make a better world. I'm finding enough to do that I could work 24/7 and never get it done, so the idea of committing valuable hours to an unreliable state of consciousness is pretty unappealing right now.
Onward!
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Comments
JonL - that's a brilliant post title. I'm picturing a million technology mixers for all the years to come at SXSW with nothing but Sprite and soda water. There, bespectacled internet punks happily chat about open standards, while in the corner a gaggle of sallow, dark-eyed europeans whisper in hushed tones over the odd lack of loosening imbibements. And the fact that they have no where to smoke.
I saw a lot of drinking to excess everywhere I've lived. I have also had recent lunches with people who drank a beer with a sandwich and kept trucking through all of life's work. I think there may be a way to integrate alcohol productively. Why bother? Because tjere is something charming, persuasive about the fruit of the vine.
Either way, liquor is a timeless vexing force, evidenced by this weblog. My father drank too much and did himself in. So I feel like I should take drink seriously. I have a copy of Under the Volcano here in my home when I feel ready to study.
Feel as though I have been led to these posts for a reason. I have a problem with drinking. I don't drink every day but when I do drink I drink too much and suffer really badly all the next day - as though I have an allergy to alcohol. I am not telling anyone else about my decision to stop. I am just going to do it. (Oh and btw it is not really 5.03am here - I am in Australia and it is 3.35pm....and I still feel fuzzy from last night).
I've been in a social drinking holding pattern for about ten years now. Drinking on the weekends to excess has become no big thing for me. I wake up feeling terrible, knowing I did something wrong socially. And when I start I don't feel like I can stop until I'm completely hammered. I'm under control for the amount I drink, but I just feel terrible, and unproductive, for days afterwards. Anyway, I'm going to try and quit drinking. This is going to be hard considering how integral drinking is to my social world and friends here. I'm glad I found your site.
I did start drinking again, eventually, after that post above. I'm better at controlling my drinking sometime than others, but the big question is whether I'm disrupting my productivity and sapping energies by drinking, and whether it conflicts with my Buddhist inclinations. At the moment I'm drinking occasionally and still wondering if it's the right thing to do, but thinking at other times that it's a sane choice. I do have times when I binge and feel the effects afterward, and that might be an argument for sustained sobriety.
