We Quit Drinking

I was hoping there'd be more activity as well, but as there are only nine people who can post topics...

When I quit drinking(and doing drugs), almost 9 years ago, I had no intentions of doing either. I just wanted to stop living how I was living. While I was doing lots of different mind-altering things on a regular basis, alcohol and marijuana were my drugs of choice. The first couple of years without them were a real bitch for me. Now that my life is so completely different, total abstinance has become an important part of my life.

I was reminded of this when I was lying in a hotel room on a business trip the other night. I was watching CNN and saw that one of their reporters was my girfriend during the last 6-8 months of my drinking. Seeing her and hearing her voice brought back a flood of what it used to be like. I remember her begging me not to drink when we went out, making sure that I ate, the lies that I told her and my manipulative behavior. I was a completely self-centered asshole.

I tried to make ammends and give apologies to her for my insane emotionally abusive behavior a few years after I got sober, but she wanted nothing to do with me - and I can't say that I blame her.

This same self-centered asshole became someone who was able to care for his mother 8 years later as she died, and chose doing this over a job, a marriage and financial security - I believe that the ability to think of someone else's needs first is something I learned getting sober - doing that which is right over that which feels right at the moment, is not something that is innate in my alcoholic nature - it was a learned behavior that has brought me much serenity in my life.

Through episodes like this i can see how much my life has changed. For me, this change is one of the greatest gifts of my sobriety. I believe that when I drink I cannot grow emotionally, I cannot move forward. Seeing my old girlfriend showed me of where I had been, how far I have come, and why I give my sobrity a priority in my life that usually supercedes my ego and my self-will - or as we say in the rooms of AA, better to save your ass than your face.

Hi Frank = Thanks for asking about this. I'll post more tonight. It's been interesting, but the harder thing and this REALLY BOTHERS ME is that I tried to quit TV and absolutely FAILED. I'm not thrilled about that.

I haven't been drinking since I quit (only a month or so ago) but have been noticing it a lot and been much more aware of times and situations when I want to indulge. I'll write later about that too.

Halley

Hi Halley...
I have my TV habit pretty much under control but I am struggling with over-eating. As I get older my metabolism gets more efficient, but my appetite doesn't adjust downward to make up for it. Anyway, i went on a diet - just after BlogggerCon actually - and I've lost a respectable 17 pounds since then. But I'm at a point where I just want to hang it up and munch my way to productivity and true happiness. Wheat thins are my friend. I could eat a whole box at one sitting.

I haven't been getting a lot of strong peer pressure, but I find that older Japanese gentlemen think it's strange and frankly kind of stupid. I will typically end up on the receiving end of a few jokes during the course of the evening, but I'm used to such things so I shrug them off. My friends of all been very supportive.

I have stopped drinking since Christmas last year. Since then I have slipped up a couple of times by having one - well two in fact - and they made me feel awful. I am staying at home a lot. I am eating everything in sight. I'm all over the place emotionally - one minute strong and together and the next minute totally fearful. No matter how scary it gets though it can't match a hangover on the scale of awful. I don't have dark rings under my eyes as much and my skin looks clearer. I don't wake up and want to shrink in my skin about what I may have said/done the night before. I am learning to do and be without needing a drink or seven to do it or be it. I don't feel overly hyped and hopeful really, but I don't feel hopeless either. I am doing this on my own and so far its working. I have also stopped taking anti depressants. I figure I will either get through this -just me and my fears, tears, pain and joy all together - or I won't. Thanks for creating this site - it's a good focus for me.

Hi I am 27 and an alcoholic I have been to meetings but just can't seem to stay sober. I am in my final year of college and engaged to get married in 2 years. My fiance told me I could have my ring back if I didn't stop drinking but I now drink behind her back when I go to sleep. I just need it to sleep at night but know the real truth. Can someone give me some inspiration to face my deamon and release my angel. thanks

Mike - just my thoughts -

You went to meetings, but did you go regularly, participate, meet people, call them, get a sponsor, work the steps, get a commitment, look to be open and make some changes in your life that didn't totaly jibe with your own feelings and opinions?

Willing to do anything to quit? IMHO, you can't do it for her - you have to do it for yourself because you hate being this way - but not by yourself. Perhaps you need to find a counselor, fess up to your fiance (a marriage built on lies doesn't sound so great) and explore entering either a residential treatment center for a few months, where you can still go to work/go to school, or a rehab this summer. I mean hey, you're best thinking hasn't been working out, you're stil young and there's the rest of your life to consider.

Edison famously called genius 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent persperation - I would suggest that the same is true of recovery, and persperation isn't usually intuitive, easy or fun at first - like anything worthwhile.

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