by Sean Bonner

The Path

in Psychology / This Blog

Sun, 04 Jan 2004, 10:33

One thing that I brought up before we launched this site and I think is worth talking about a bit on here is that there's not just one take on all of this. I was talking about a bunch of my friends and that they all drink, or don't drink for very different reasons. This is important to keep in mind when talking about this because there isn't just one problem, nor just one solution.

In fact, this is extemely important to keep in mind when talking about "Alcoholism" if only because there's no (at least that I know of) accepted standard of what makes an alcoholic, what is alcoholism, or how to treat it. "You can't be a little bit pregnant" is an example that's tossed around a lot (not just here) as a way of saying "you can't just be a little bit of an alcoholic, either you are or you aren't." The problem, as I see it, with that is there's a set group of medical standards that can proove if you are pregant or not, but with alcoholism there's nothing that locked down. In fact, it's pretty much all opinion based, either a person thinks they are an alcoholic or they aren't, and/or his/her friends think they are an alcoholic or they aren't. There's still raging debates about if you can call it a Disease or not.

Personally, I think it is, but I'm not a doctor, or an alcoholic so my opinion on that topic doesn't really make a shread of difference.

The last thing in the world I want to imply is that I'm knocking AA or anything like that. It's a great program which has helped a lot of people, and I think anything that helps people on such a scale is a good thing. But it's not the end all be all, it doesn't have a 100% success record. I've had parents, family members, and close friends all join AA at one point or another, and they all talked the talk and every last one of them still drinks. But I think that points more at the person, see I've also had a lot of friends decide they are going to stop and they did. What I'm getting at is what works flawlessly for one person might not work at all for another. The same way that every single person who picks up a drink does it for a different reason, quitting is different for every person.

What I noticed is the people who said they were going to quit, and didn't, never really believed it themselves. They were expecting thing to just happen magically. The people who did quit, believed. They belived in themselves. Maybe the only thing that has a 100% success rate is a personal commitment. If you commit not to drink, short of you changing your mind and deciding to drink, you aren't going to drink. What I mean is that as much as whatever program worked for you, YOU worked for you. And if a program didn't work for you, it's probably more of you not working for you. Because you are the common thread in all of this.

I know this post is all over the place but it's just a bunch of things I've been thinking about. Be glad I didn't try to tie religion into all of this yet, that would be a mess. What I'm getting at, overall, is that this isn't Lord of The Rings and there's not One Ring to rule them all. Everything being said on this site is someone's opinion, even if it's being stated as fact. There's a different path for everyone, and it's up to each of us to find it for ourselves.

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Jan 4, 2004 3:21:25 PM
1 - AJ Kim

I strongly agree with your core point - personal committment is at the core of quitting an addiction successfully.

Also, having other people with similar struggles WITNESS your stated committment & followthrough is key - and that's common to AA, this blog, and every kind of support group out there.

Jan 4, 2004 6:39:59 PM
2 - Drew

I also agree that commitment is a great way to stop drinking, but in my experience I was not committed at first. I was simply desparate to stop living how I was living, to stop feeling how I was feeling, to stop thinking how i was thinking, and to stop hating myself and my life - I was looking for a way out, and the only thing i was committed to was saving my own ass by ditching the horrible feelings and thoughts I had been having for years - not to staying sober. I had nowhere else to go, and franky, if there was a large group of people out there who wanted nothing from me other than to help me stop drinking, and told me that if I wore nothing but orange leather and ate nothing but Captain Crunch that I could stop drinking and change all of that like they had, then I would have done it. Luckily, I found AA instead - not that there is anything wrong with Captain Crunch.

Jan 7, 2004 11:18:04 PM

Fear, Fellowship, and A High Sugar Diet!

Jun 8, 2006 11:57:07 PM
4 - Gary

I could care less about opinions, facts are facts. I had gone so far down the spiral that I could not believe in myself or anything that I could do. I only needed to believe "God could and would if he were sought". I did nothing but get out of the way.

Aug 21, 2006 9:31:59 PM
5 - if only you knew

I am glad i found this site. see mine-
http://simplybrilliant.typepad.com/my_weblog/
I started this blog just yesterday- i didn't realise I am so into the " I am an alcholic " fixation.

This topic just bubbled up as i started to blog.

I have not yet quit the habit and I want to quit-

But I don't want to be a tee totaller. What's the fun in that?

If you are interested to see how I struggle and indulge on a daily basis- -read me, I am your lab rat. Perhaps I might find a way out.

Nov 9, 2007 8:57:37 AM

Im 17 years old and my life consists of a pound of perscribed medicine and a fifth of vodka.
I take flexeril, lorcets, klonopins, trazodones, lexapro and some others. I have great grades and planning on being a lawyer but, all the medicines ive listed besides the lorcets and flexeril have been the cause of the same thing... the same reason I plan on being a lawyer, spending half of my life in group homes and continuely screwed by the court system. Im in no way shape or form a bad kid but, ive made bad decisions which led to getting wellbutrin stuffed down my throat when I was definitely not depressed and, ever since then ive been taking pills and drinking. I don't remember ever having a sober weekend in the past two years. I don't know what the politicaly correct definiton of an alcoholic is but, I feel like my problems are alot more deep-rooted than just taking my problems out on the alcohol. I never want help, I will never see a psychiatrist because their over-payed and overated. I have a great relationship with my girlfriend and family and the only way I see my problems is when I consiously take my brain out of my everyday environment and really sit and think. It will probably catch up to me and thats probably what you will say but, I live without regrets and I can honestly say that.

Apr 27, 2011 1:14:47 PM
7 - Danger

What you wrote certainly makes sense to me. I don't know whether or not I am an alchoholi but I know I either need to cut down on the amount I drink or quit. Since I have tried cutting down numerous times and always end up drinking too much guess I need to face the fact that I need to quit. This is a difficult fact for me to face because I have pleasant memories of my drinking - even when I have drank too much. On the negative side, I don't always feel so good physically. It isn't unusual for me to drink enough to have a headache. I mostly think the amount of drinking I do is bad for my health. For instance, my blood pressure has been eratic lately and I am wondering if that doesn't correlate to my drinking habits. Also, they tell me the incidence of cancer increases and practically all the deceased members in my family died with cancer.

Haven't had any DWI's or family problems caused by drinking. Mostly it is a health concern.