in Social Issues

Fri, 08 Apr 2005, 04:19

I have to say, one surprising thing about not drinking, (and I'm still not drinking) is how much guys who don't drink turn me on.  I'm so glad to meet them. 

Woe be to the sloppy drunk guy who tries to pick me up ... it just doesn't get any traction with me any more. 

And even better, sex with a guy who doesn't drink is really hot.  They have to be a lot more resourceful and clever and funny and smart to get me into bed ... but it's worth all the work on both sides.   I mean, well, wait, bad choice of words perhaps, but, whatever ... use your imagination.

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Apr 8, 2005 11:33:45 AM
1 - Drew Mabry

We so rule. It's hard being this sexy sometime,s by we somehow manage, sodawater in hand. LOL

Apr 8, 2005 12:45:33 PM

word.

Apr 8, 2005 9:23:55 PM
3 - Tom..

Halley, my girl....

You speak as though you know me??

Ha ha ha, yes.. sober is much more charming / sexy for both sides.

Good one.

May 5, 2005 9:46:15 PM
4 - Brain

I like the sports page. This is a great blog!!

Sep 9, 2005 1:58:05 PM
5 - Anthony Robinson

I had posted to this board a while ago, but yet for some reason my post and its replies have been removed. THey content wasn't racy or baudy or offensive...so I will repost:

My question was this:

Why is it that people who are nondrinkers behave SO condescendingly towards people who choose to drink? One of the replies was from a nondrinker who agreed - sometimes nondrinkers can be quite condescending.

I'd just like to know what's with the superior attitude? I don't cop an attitude around nondrinkers. I don't pull the "I can control myself, you can't" type of approach.

Why do nondrinkers feel the need to look down their noses at us poor drunken slobs? And why do you assume everyone that does drink is some kind of a slob or otherwise?

I'm sure you wouldn't be too thrilled if someone who did drink thought that all nondrinkers were all addictive, boring, and needy...

Thank You.

Sep 11, 2005 10:47:54 AM
6 - stac

i totally agree. i just quit drinking and have decided that i never want to be one of those people who condescend. i will try very hard, but in response, i think it is because of the internal battle that quitting alcoholism takes, most people feel very proud and want to show and tell about their personal feats. Oh well, like i said i hope never to be one of those or one of those parents who think any stupid thing their kid does is toooo cute. live life for yourself and let others do the same without interferance....

Sep 12, 2005 2:54:55 PM
7 - Steve Holmes

This thread brought a smile as I remembered that line from the Adam West "Batman" movie: "They may be drinkers, Robin, but they're also human beings."

Other than that, hold on a minute. Let's not mince words and try to rationalize what can clearly become an unhealthy lifestyle as somehow noble and above criticism. Yes, there are people who can drink socially, have only one or two nice glass(es) of wine/beer/spirits with dinner or friends or whatever and leave it at that. I don't think light social drinkers get looked down on at all. It's the person who has to over-do it and at the very least is an embarrassment or at worst could become a danger to him/herself as well as to others. Alcohol is a drug and a crutch. I don't want to start a fight about this, but it's important to shoot straight with an answer to the above question. If someone is so needful of any drug they don't have a right to wonder why the clean/sober don't embrace them as normal and reasonable. Again, light drinking, no problem. But if you have to regularly drink to the point where you're stumbling and slobbering, yes, that should be judged harshly. Why defend that kind of drinking? Either your peers will call you on it or sooner or later a judge will.

Keep in mind that many people on and off this site are attempting to win a hard-fought battle with alcohol. Isn't it reasonable for a sober person to wonder why someone just has to get so drunk on a regular basis? I think the "superior attitude" that Anthony points to is the result of a sober person saying: "Look, I used to be you and I felt like crap. I beat this, why can't you? You don't need to get wasted to party/make love/whatever!" The point is, people who crave alcohol so much that they need to somehow defend their drinking CAN'T control themselves. That lack of control is specifically why they need alcohol! Also, why applaud someone who is that adamant about harming themselves and maybe others? Some things you just can't defend and in my opinion regular heavy drinking is one of them.

Sep 15, 2005 6:04:12 PM
8 - Robin

After I attained sobriety I found something wonderful. All parts still worked and all parts were more attractive to ladies. My head, my emotions, my spirit, my bod, my ... ;-).
The sad part is it took so long to find out. If any one of the doctors had known about my condition and knew where to refer me I may have saved my marriage and a lot of inner pain.
That's why I developed BriefTSF to educate doctors and other generalist health-care workers about the wonders of sobriety.

Sep 19, 2005 7:43:20 AM
9 - charles

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this. I did something boneheaded this weekend that hopfully will wake me up. After a great day of sailing, we may have won the regatta! The rum was flowing @ the awards ceremony. I barely remember it after hours of drinking beer on the boat. I chose to drive home afterwards. I remember very little of the trip. This is not the frist time that this has happened. I am not sure if a passed out or what but I do remember something bumpy happening. I recall blurrly remembering driving against traffic on a divided four lane highway. I heard horns blowing. I came to some sense and pulled over to safe place and called a cab. My truck had mud and grass imbeded into the front tag the next day. I'am not expecting this post to be treated gingerly. In a way I guess I am seeking some reproach. I am quite aware the I was capable of killing are hurting some innocent being on this night. I am young int the mid thirties and have been drinking from the age of 17 w/ a long experence in college 10 years. I now have a great wife, Daughter and house with alot going for me. I fear my drinking experence may be somthing that will give me problems if it continues to escalate as it is apparently doing. Thanks for listening.

Sep 21, 2005 7:33:39 AM
10 - Steve Holmes

Charles – You received a serious wake-up call and you were let off east this time. Take your experience as a gift and count your blessings that you aren’t looking back on this from a jail cell, a hospital or worse. You don’t need anyone’s reproach. Just use your imagination. Just imagine the humiliation of standing before a judge with your family, friends, co-workers looking on in tears. Imagine your bank account broken from legal fees, your license suspended, or you facing possible manslaughter charges. OK, excess drinking is a problem in and of itself is a problem but honestly WHY drink and drive? Can you imagine the grief and anger if you got a phone call that your wife or daughter were killed by a drunk driver? Can you imagine their grief if they found out you were drunk driving and killed someone or that you yourself died behind the wheel?

Write these words on a card and put it in your wallet: “When a drunk gets behind the wheel his or her car becomes a weapon.” Then when you are out facing a drive home and before you pour that first drink, pull that card out and read it. It may give you second thoughts and could save lives.

If you are going to drink at least have some sympathy for other people on the road. You had the good sense to call a cab and you are recognizing that your drinking is an issue. You didn’t ask but my advice is for you to cool your jets at least on the drinking and driving before you lose your wife, daughter, house and all you say you have going for you. Alcohol is not worth it.

Sep 21, 2005 7:55:11 AM
11 - Steve Holmes

I meant to write “you were let of EASY”, not east. I recall long ago I had a few too many glasses of wine at a club and got behind the wheel. On the drive home, I stopped at a red light and across the street facing me was a police car. I counted my blessings that I was at least driving like a saint up to this point and as the light changed green (I thought) I slowly proceeded into the intersection. Suddenly my girl sitting beside me yelled “THE LIGHT’S NOT CHANGED!” and I hit the brake. I wasn’t far out into the intersection, but I noticed that she was right. Now I am sweating like hell thinking the cop saw this for sure. As the light changes green I proceed on my way….the police car cruises by me and slowly turns around to trail me. Now I am thinking “S**T! There is no way I am going to pass a drunk test. I’m f***ing toast.” And the cops must have gotten another call or something because the car turned down a side street and vanished. To this day I can still see that police car in my rear view mirror s-l-o-w-l-y turning around to trail me and expecting those lights to go on any moment. That was my wake-up call and I was also let off east, easy or whatever. Charles, you and I lucked out. A lot of people don’t.

Sep 21, 2005 8:47:22 AM
12 - charles

Steve, Thanks for your comment. I guess I was waiting for a reaction to my post because I have been checking it daily. I was lucky to have a wakeup call w/o hurting anyone. I did write your quote about the drunk car is a weapon and I put it in my wallet. As of Saturday I have not drunk anything and would like to become an ex-drinker. I have also been reliving what memory I have of that incident to motivate me not to have a drink. I hope that the momery does not fade because, though that is not the only incident in my life that drinking has caused, it is my current motivation to give up the stuff. Though I did not specifically ask for your advice, my post certainly implied that I wanted it. Thank you for it and any other future advice that you may have.

Sep 22, 2005 9:15:30 AM
13 - Steve Holmes

Well, you asked for it! I'm no expert, but I would say 1.) if you are going to drink, for every drink have one or two bottles of water and never ever drink on an empty stomach; 2.) try to limit your drinking to the suggested minimum (2 glasses of beer/wine spirits for a man, 1 for a woman); 3.) limit your quality time from or at least be alert and aware of people and situations that stimulate your craving for alcohol; 4.) try not to drink alone or if you do SIP only 1 or 2; 5.) sit down and really think about why you must over-do the drinking & do whatever it takes to raise your self-esteem because in my opinion a person with high self-esteem never drinks too much; 6.) retrain your subconscious mind into a non-drinking entity by daily reading websites like this and MADD's site and books about cutting down or quitting drinking and if the worst comes to the worst visit an AA chapter;
7.) look forward to that you will be able to enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner when you get older instead of suffering from ciroccis of the liver; 8.) don't beat yourself up if you slip and have one too many once in awhile - just keep that cab number handy.

But the best reason to really cut down or quit drinking is because...(as this thread points out) it turns on the ladies! Best of luck!

Sep 22, 2005 9:34:54 AM
14 - steve holmes

Oh, and one more thing: a regular vigorous exercise program along with good healthy eating habits will probably seriously reduce your general craving for alcohol. OK, enough of my long-butt posts! Hope I've helped! Again, good luck and don't give up quitting!

Oct 27, 2005 4:45:39 PM
15 - Adam

Charles, I found this site about an hour ago as Im seriously thinking of quitting drinking and trying to get the courage together to do so.

I did almost exactly the same thing last night, my second booze related car accident in six months. Both times I was very lucky not to hurt anyone else, it occured to me today that I was also on the wrong side of the road. Its getting expensive to have the cars repaired.

I live in a small island nation where drink driving isnt the major thing it is elsewhere, hell you can get a rum n coke at some of the gas stations here.

Today I was thinking that out of my circle of friends about six have had similar accidents, some of them were seriously hurt. One guy I know is in hospital as we speak with two broken hips.

Thanks for your post, it gave me the nudge I needed to admit my stupidness to myself and to continue to play it over and over in my mind until I attach so much pain to drinking I will genuinely feel like stopping (as opposed to just knowing I should)

Dec 4, 2005 3:39:54 PM
16 - Scott

I've been a non-drinker my entire life, and I don't think I look down on drinkers in any way. All of my friends drink, but I must admit that I absolutely love it when I find a girl who doesn't drink -- that's just perfect for me and very hot! Means I don't have to think of a reason to that age-old question "why don't you drink?". Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I don't believe I'm condescending to drinkers. At least, I hope I'm not.

Sep 12, 2006 10:01:11 AM
17 - Stefan8
Nov 25, 2006 8:23:32 PM
18 - sheela

About the condescending non-drinkers - I've known someone (freind of a friend) for the past 20 years and she's been sober and going to AA meetings all that time. But she alway seemed so bitter and condescending about anyone who drank or smoked pot. It seemed like she'd never gotten beyond the urge to drink and drug and really resented anyone who did. She was almost a deterrent to me going to AA because she just seems so unhappy still - not the way I want to be.

On the other hand, I have another friend who's been in AA for the same amount of time who is so non-judgemental about others choices and is doing a lot with his life. I really admire him.

I've just quit drinking with the help of AA - almost 3 months of sobriety! And I've noticed myself judging other people's drinking. And I've been making comments about how someone who had done something stupid or had a fight or an accident must have been drinking. I think it's a reaction to how much I repressed those thoughts when I was drinking. I didn't want to admit how it was warping my own behavior. So now that I've admitted it about myself I feel free to let the comments fly about others.

I really want to nip this in the bud. I dread being the self-righteous asshole. I think there are plenty of people who can drink without becoming obsessed with it like I did. I envy them but I also am really happy to be going to AA meetings. They are about a lot more than just not drinking. And my acquaintance who is such a judgemental prig - she probably wouldn't even be alive without AA. So that's something.

Jan 2, 2007 11:06:04 AM

More power to all of you who realize that you can't drink responsibly J

All of us have heard the horror stories of alcohol-related fatalities, but I experienced something this past weekend that provides a good example of how out-of-control some people's drinking can become. Nine of us plus a crane operator were working on a building erecting some beams that had been fabricated at welding shop. Each steel panel weighted thousands of pounds and had to be positioned perfectly by the crane operator in order to “fit” the building design. At the end of the day, after all of the steel panels had been erected, bolted, and welded, I briefly talked to the crane operator. As he was speaking, I could smell the strong scent of alcohol. After the crane operator left, I told the building superintendent about the alcohol I smelled on the crane operator and mentioned that he (the crane operator) must have been drinking throughout the day while operating the crane. Based on my report, chances are very slim that the building supervisor will ever use this crane operator again. Here’s someone who had to move thousands of pounds within a fraction of an inch while nine field workers were in a position to bolt and weld the steel beams and panels to the substructure—and it seems that he was probably drinking alcohol the entire time he was on the job. Just thinking about the horror story that easily could have happened makes me angry when I think about the irresponsible behavior manifested by the crane operator. And the hell of this is that this particular day was the crane operator’s anniversary. Something tells me that his wife was not turned on by the smell of alcohol when her husband returned from work!

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous-info.com

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