Tue, 28 Jun 2005, 15:49
It's tough to stop drinking -- so if you're trying -- even starting today, just now -- bravo for you! You're amazing!
It's also tough to hang in there and pile up one day after another of no drinking, so if you're doing that -- take a bow, we love you here, you rock!
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I thought my life was in control. Everything looks manageable, but in my head I know that I am having problems. I quit only to be duped again. After work I feel good and I somehow justify drinking, knowing that I won't drink 1, because i always finish what I buy, and it is never less than a 6 pack. I am bummed, I have such a beautiful family and I fall so short of being the father and husband I want to be, no matter how respected I am in my community or how productive I am with my business. Only I know the truth, and the truth is that the poison I swallow needs to find closed lips.
I've always had a take-it-or-leave-it approach to drinking. When I do drink, I drink a lot. I've got a huge tolerance for alcohol, especially for a woman, which is a bad sign, I know. But then periodically I just don't want to drink. Last week I was at a week-long conference on creativity (CPSI) at which drinking alcohol is a huge, big deal. I drank a lot, every single night, and felt steadily less healthy as the week progressed. Prior to CPSI, I had really slowed/almost stopped drinking because I've been very focused on eating right and working out. Like you, Halley, I've discovered that drinking just doesn't feel right when you're really focused on health. Anyway (and probably too late to make a long story short!), I'm starting to think that drinking is something I'll just leave behind from now on. I've heard there's a "sub-tribe" of CPSI-ites who are into sobriety, but in three years of going to this conference, I've never met any of them. Next year, though, I'm looking for them.