Tue, 02 Jan 2007, 07:45
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It's the best thing I ever did - Probably one of the most difficult things to do, but hey - If I Can Do It - You Can Do It! http://www.dontdrinktoday.blogspot.com
I have been reading comments here on the site for a couple of days now. Being a "lurker" if you will! ;) Well, I have been a drinker for the majority of my entire adult life. I am now 36 years old. The only time I took a serious break from drinking was to carry and give birth to my two beautiful children. I worried that I might give them FAS, that scared me sober, but then a few short months after their birth I started to drink again.
Like most, I am sure, I started drinking socially. Through college I drank on Tuesday nights due to 50 cent draft night and on the weekends. It amazes me that my grades were almost all As and I finished in 3.5 years and then went on to grad degrees. But what started off as socially evolved without realizing it into dependency. During my first two years of college I had to take care of two very ailing grandparents. Trust me, this burden sucked because all 6 of my brothers told me they had real jobs, and a life and I was the second to the youngest and a girl, blah, blah, and I had more flexibility. Well, none-the-less, I was guilted into doing it, and mentally it was hard for me to handle. By my third year of college, my mother had her first stroke and six months later another stroke. By now, she was just a shell of the person she once was. As if that were not enough, my father had Alzheimer's. And, if you guess how tight the family was by now, it wasn't! I went on to take care of my parents for the next few years. To cope with all the emotional baggage, I started to drink to escape. In a way I knew this but in a way, I was just trying to survive. What I should have done was to tell emphatically to my brothers "up-yours, you can do it too!" And then go find a shrink. Well, the beer was cheaper.
Sadly, on 9/11/01 prior to the Twin Tower's falling, my mother finally past away. What a relief. Then within a year my father finally got the correct diagnosis and was placed in a nursing home. I couldn't take it anymore and God know's not one of my brother's were going to take care of him, and thank goodness I had a valid excuse, I was moving out of state with my fiancee.
Guilt allowed me in my mind to continue drinking and that is what I did! There are no more excuses. I am an alcoholic.
Due to drinking for so many years I decided to not quit "Cold Turkey." I used to drink anywhere from 6-10 beers in the evening, every evening. This is only my second day cutting back to one beer (I had actually intended to cut down to three) and I have been feeling the withdrawal symptoms. Insomnia and headache being the worst. A little edgy, but I have been managing it so far. Earlier today, I tried to talk myself into buying beer before the designated three beer allowance per day, but forcibly changed my routine in the moment to something else to distract my mind like reading the newspaper. That actually helped.
Later, I looked at the time and realized I still had awhile before my medicinal beer time and that really hit home that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC!! So, I came back here and decided to keep myself mentally busy. I am such a stubborn person, so I am going to try to use that to my advantage instead of my disadvantage. So, I might be typing here a lot for while until I get over the hump and when that is, my guess is as good as yours?
Just a side note, I am taking vitamins, before, I wasn't. I am going to get a B supplement too. In addition, when I get a bit edgy I drink water, which for me, is something I typically NEVER drink. Coka Cola all day and beer at night.
And in all honesty, I am quitting for ME! Sure, my family is important to me, but I need to do this for ME first! I'll keep you posted on my journey.
Me too. But get this; I am on the committee of the local Campaign for Real Ale branch. And I am utterly sick of alcohol. But so much of our social life revolves around alcoholic drink, whether it's celebrating somebody's birthday, or going to a blues venue (like today), etcetera etcetera. Possibly here in the UK this is (even) more intense than elsewhere in the world.
But today I was standing in the pub listening to the blues band and caught sight of myself in the mirror, and thought 'when did I become a fat man?' Certain the beer has a lot to do with it.
Something, as some band once said, better change.
I have a problem, I have had it for years, I am 48 years old and I stated to drink in my late thirties, social events, vacation, in fact just about everything I do involves drinking anymore. I have put myself on the wagon many times once for an entire month but normally it 4 or 5 days then I am right back drinking Jack Denials. On weekdays I limit myself to a pint on weekends I drink at least a fifth. For the most part I hide it. My wife of 28 years also drinks and has progressively drank more over time not nearly as much as me but on a pretty regular basis. I come to realize a couple of years ago than I am an alcoholic and many of the people I know are as well. I have decided to quit cold turkey today. I will suffer for a couple of days especially at night but I am not going to cave in this time. Many times it’s the pressure from my friends. It gets so stupid at times. I have had my friends say to me “I AM NOT GOING TO SIT HERE WITH YOU IF YOU DON’T HAVE A DRINK WITH ME” Well I am not going to cave in. I am not sure I want to announce that I have a problem and that I quit because of it. I know that would be the advice I would get from AA or a support group. I am largely not effective at work when I am hung over, I am a business owner and the business is suffering because of my drinking.
I may end up needing outside help like a support group or AA. I just don’t think I like the idea of going that route. I am determined to quit and tell people I quit and leave it at that. I know that there are benefits to not drinking and no benefits to doing it.
Robert, I know exactly how you feel. I am a veteran of AA and I don't like it. I am not sure why I don't like it, but I don't like telling people I have a problem. I know that it helps others but you have to want to do it. I want to drink but I have to stop. I have to make myself quit because it is killing me. Not only is it bad for my diabetic body, but my wife will not talk to me. My kids know, and half of my brothers and their families. I would like to get in a "web" support group if anyone is interested. Please feel free to email me.
This will be my third night of not drinking and I am edgy as hell, no shakes or sweats, thank god there is 2' feet of snow on the ground or I would have headed to the liquor store earlier. Monday was my first night and it wasn't so bad as I had a hangover, Tues. really wasn't difficult but tonight as I said I am edgy and eating nearly everything in the house!
I like to drink red wine and usually have 2-3 or sometimes more glasses just about every night of the week. I started drinking wine a few years ago because I was embarrassed by all the beer bottles and drinking hard liquor is just to difficult for me to control and I always feel physically damaged after a heavy bout of hard liquor. I live in a small town and feel like I have to be careful about my trips to the liquor store and I go to various stores so I don't become to familuar of a face. All of this tells me that I have a drinking problem. I don't know/think I am an alcoholic but I am definitely on the edge.
I drink to relax, to relieve boredom and loneliness and to make my life "sparkle" a bit (that's the only word I can think of at this point.) I look forward to coming home and drinking. I do it alone at home, in company & out socially I always monitor my drinking.
I have decided to quit because I have known for a long time that it's a problem, while I don't get smashed every night it seems to happen a few times a month and at age 43 I think that is too much. Also, I think drinking is actually adding to the boredom and loneliness, in that it keeps me from finding other healthier alternatives to fill the spaces. It makes me lazy too, I don't have to do the work i.e. be social, risk friendship, find activities that I would enjoy, etc. picking up a glass is so much easier!
So, i tell myself I will try not drinking for a month and see what happens and at month end I hope to try another month.
I quit smoking 9 years ago and it was very difficult, this feels the same way. Esp. the little voice that says things like "Oh, you're fine you don't need to quit." "wine is good for you" "Life will be very boring without alcohol" etc. I am sure many of you are familuar with that voice.
Sorry to go on & on! I am so glad this blog is here, I still feel edgy and don't know what to expect (if anything) from quitting but, but this does help and I will brief next time. Best to all!
I meant to comment in the most recent post
I'll add this here as well
I would just like to remind people who come to this blog, that a Forum grew out of this blog and is now in its third incarnation at http://wqd.netwarriors.org/. There are now 2500 members, maybe 700 active.
Jonas lends a distant presence to the site and supports the hardware.
I have made a history using some of thes pages from early on at http://histwqd.blogspot.com/
I feel like I wrote your entry. I've not stopped yet, though. Going to try again. I've failed so many times. It's been a lifetime.
Chrism, Don't count your failures! You are trying and I think that is enough, you are aware that you need to and want to change and you are going to the right place to get the support and motivation you will need. I tried to give up smoking 1,000s of times but I learned from each attempt and took some of the tools on the final quit; the patch, a motivational tape, and the results from a little book I had used previously which rated each cigarette I smoked. They never worked on their own but together and with my inner timing I finally quit.
So, I haven't had a drink since Monday. I can't believe it actually and looking at my calendar with all of the X's (this helped w/quitting cigarettes crossing each day I didn't smoke) it seems a bit of a fog. I still have some anxiety but my appetite isn't quite so active as it was on Weds. I am mostly feeling BOREDOM! Oh, a glass of wine would sooth that so easily...but I want another X on my calendar! Oh, and TEA has really helped, I drink coffee in the a.m. but regular old tea (I like Twinings English Breakfast) does a good trick of relaxing me when I come home from work or mid-afternoon and then I drink Sleepytime Tea off & on for the rest of the evening (otherwise reg. tea will keep too wired and I won't be able to sleep.)
I really haven't noticed any big changes, my head feels a bit groggy in the evening, I am sleeping like a rock and having vivid dreams which have a lot of anxiety themes, situations. More than anything I feel good in the sense that I have found the strength to stop at least for a little while - it's very empowering and that's not a feeling I have I everyday. Keep checking into the site, I believe you'll get there!
Thank you, Susansa, for writing back. I don't know how to begin to stop. But I'll try again. Thinking of going to an AA meeting tonight. I had family over last night and yes I drank, along with them. There is a comfort to it, but then when I've had more than a few, it all becomes a fog and before I know it, I can't remember the conversations and I wake up in the middle of the night saying "Why did I drink so much?" I know what you mean about sleeping like a rock and having crazy dreams, as I have quit before. It's as if real life is catching up with you and you have to go through all this grown up stuff that you never dealt with because of alcohol. But, waking up in the morning feeling good is worth it. I'm afraid that my drinking has increased to the point that I may have withdrawal if I try to stop cold turkey. Thinking of tapering(?) down, not sure. Not sure of anything except I want to change. I'm so envious of these stupid celebrities who can just take a few months off and go to a cushy rehab. And then stupid Brittany Spears leaves after one day. Okay, it's not about them, it's me. I have to work on me. Thank you for being supportive. I sure do hope you are successful also.
I have just woken up after falling asleep in front of the tv last night and finally falling into bed around 4 am this morning , nothing unusual in that.I have been drinking a bottle of red wine ,sometimes more ,every night for 10 years. I am ashamed, scared , and utterly sick of being an alcoholic .I wake up every morning determined to drink no more , but every time I walk past the wine section in the supermarket I cave in again. This morning I decided to write down my thoughts and feelings and share them with someone else in the hope that the support and understanding of others can help me to make it through tonight without a drink . I dont want my teenage daughter to go to bed at night listening to me snoring on the sofa again
I drank wine again all weekend, can never seem to remember the nite before when I wake up, turning 50 this year and really want to quit and start life out new
I am 23 years old. I have to quit drinking because it causes me to not care about other peoples feelings and leads me to do other substances which I conquered so long ago. Its a path back to the hell I was in 3 years ago. Everyone around me drinks. My partner is 21 and insists on drinking socially(which is what gets me in trouble) If you have any advise for me I would really appreciate it. email@example.com
Well, midnight and I made it to 11 days w/no drinking, it does get a bit easier but I haven't felt any great benefits yet, I still really miss my night drinking and I can be quite cranky at night w/out it, good thing I live alone. Well, I am a bit hard headed and at this point it's what is keeping me from picking up a bottle at the liquor store. Also, I went online and purchased an inexpensive self-hypnosis quit drinking CD (well, I downloaded it onto my ipod) - I figured it helped w/the cigarette habit and it does help keep some of the edge off and have a different perspective & it gives me something to do. The whole thing is just going to take time and while I may be hard headed I am also at times incredibly impatient! But I haven't gone to work with a headache or hangover and I haven't done any "drink & dial" so that's GOOD (I am sure my friends appreciate that!) I'll just keep trying, I wish luck to all of us, don't give up.
Hiya, I was a hardened alcoholic for almost 30 years. I watched my relationships fail, lost my marriage, a succession of jobs and watched my life spiral completely out of control. I nknew I was an alcoholic and I didn't give a damn, I was lost without my bottle of strong cheap cider, how I needed the numbness of several drinks.
I had to moderate my drinking whenever I went out, if I consumed too much alcohol I'd have blackouts, lose control of my bladder act like a complete fool, but so what! I was depressed, I had nothing to truly live for.
As teenager,I swore I'd never drink and drive, funny how that ceased to matter in the advanced stages of my addiction. I'd avoid driving while intoxicated if possible, but isn't it funny how you can't plan your week around your drinking because someone may call on you with an urgent need. On many occaisions I was well over the legal limit and could have easily killed someone...
I shudder about that time, alcohol had complete control over me and it was never going to let go.
But why should I give up visits to all day bars, stop drinking first thing in the morning, I was unemployed, suffering from depression?
I had an excuse, didn't I?
What behaviour do I regret now?
Losing friends and hurting my family
Breaking promises and lieing.
Letting people down (especially my children)
I was never violent when drunk, just argumentative and ready to fly into an irrational rage if anyone said something I didn't agree with.
What made me change? How did I quit? Why did I drink in the first place?
That last question is the one you really need to ask yourself honestly because only then will you to break the cycle.
I've been dry for almost a year now, I tried AA (That really did nothing for me and I was very wary that they had a hidden agenda). I didn't like what I saw at AA, but don't get me wrong, it works for some people, although some statistics reveal otherwise.
I really think you should look at cognitive therapy (if you can afford it) and take a look at Rational Recovery's website. They helped me understand quickly what an addiction really is and formed the starting point for my own recovery plan.
My plan to stop drinking is simple and effective and I'm more than willing to discuss this subject on my forum. http://www.addictvoice.com/forum/ with anyone who would truly like to quit alcohol.
Here's to your freedom from alcohol and your success!
I woke up on the couch at 10:45 last night. Last thing I remember was that I was watching the oscars with my kids and drinking cpt morgan...then I was sitting there with the tv turned off and everyone was in bed. So, I decide to go out and have a smoke. i don't smoke very often, but do it after everyone is asleep so they won't see me. I got really light headed and fell into a pile of snow. I couldn't get up. My black lab was barking and barking she knew something was wrong. I was trying so hard to get up because if my husband had heard her and came out to see me trying to get up he will divorce me this time for sure. I got up, finally. My clothes and my hair were soaked and I was so ashamed. This behavior has been going on for about 10 years now and I have just turned 40. I don't know what to do or where to turn. About 2 years ago I called AA and the guy on the phone said to me in an urgent voice to come on down there right now so we could talk. I burst into tears and hung up the phone. I don't want to admit that I have a problem and be in a group setting, but I know that works for some people.
I am fat and depressed and I just want to feel better!
I have become addicted to red wine. I drink at least 2-3 glasses every night.. Tonight I am not. I know I need to quit because like someone else wrote, drinking at home every night has made me lazy about my life. There are things I want to do, and I'm going to be 55 years old. If I don't do them now, when? This site seems like a good one, because I tried AA acouple of times a few years back and didn't like it. Thanks to everyone of you who post. It's comforting and helps me keep my resolve (at least so far tonight and it's 9:00pm. After 7:00pm it got easier.) I would like to get the hypnosis tape on quitting red wine. Good luck to all of us.
I'm one week sober after my brother-in-law calling and saying he was concerned/worried about my drinking.My husband has been perturbed(?) more like angry at me over the past years for overindulgence. I too, want to recommend Rational Recovery.com. It makes sense. It's tangible. And you/I don't have to be 'sick',or 'in recovery' for the rest of our lives. I certainly am cranky but it's going to better. It already is.Strength and fun to everyone of you.swz
Well, I drink 3 to 4 nights a week, sometimes just 2 or 3 drinks and on Friday nights is usually 7-12 drinks sometimes even more. Even after a hard night of drinking and partying I come to work on time and have no problem staying focus all day. I exercise and try to eat healthy, but I can not loose weight because of my drinking. When I drink I make the worst food choices, so it ruins my whole diet.
From the time I turned 18 I have been on and off drinking, in some periods I was drinking everyday, then I will cut down to the weekends, and for a couple of months I would not drink at all. Somehow I always comeback to alcohol.
My mom drinks on a regular basis so I never thought of alcohol as a negative thing.
I learned to control my self when I drink (no shows, puking, craziness) but I still need to quit in order to loosing weight and be healthier.
I don't want to say good bye for ever, I want to drink on special occasions, or at least one weekend a month. However, I need to be able to spend at least a couple of months with out any of it to see how I do.
Please let me know if anyone can help!!!
Hi everyone. Thanks to the person who set this blog up and all the messages I've read. Very interesting stuff.
I've been a moderate drinker for about 20 years. I'm now 36. I'm very fit and healthy, run, cycle to work, etc. However, I drink most days. Either at home on my own or out with friends. I don't really like the taste of beer but drink it anyway because I get a buzz (temporarily) and what I also found was that after intense exercise I craved beer.
This led me to finding out that I could have a problem with my blood sugar crashing (hypoglycemia). I read a quote from a doctor that said that he'd never met an alcoholic who *wasn't* hypoglycemic. I also read Potatoes not Prozac, which is about sugar sensitivity.
I find that apart from alcohol I also crave caffeine. I don't believe in an "addictive personality" but I do believe in a metabolic disorder. Maybe it's a very common one that we all have.
Well... even with this knowledge, I've still been drinking. Normally I go out on Saturday nights with a friend. We go to pubs and drink 3/4 pints. He didn't want to go out last night and I think he wants to quit, too.
Maybe it's my time. In times of abstinence (usually after a terrible hangover), the last one with a duration of 3 weeks, I began to feel fantastic, open to other people and full of optimism. I also look a heck of a lot better when I'm off it.
I also use something called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) but never tried the tapping technique for boozing (strangely).
There is a tapping procedure that Paul McKenna uses for addictive cravings. If anyone wants to try it I found it here.
I am trying to get to your message board but it comes up with an error. Can anyone else access it today? Please respond! I am desperate!
Jonas did talk of more work on the WQD site this weekend. Hopefully it will be back soon
Hang in there PP.
Thanks for responding - I didn't know if it was my computer or not. I got through this weekend - it was harder then I thought! Went for a long walk last night in a snow storm, that worked! Husband has been great! Sleeping quite a bit this weekend. Make it through supper tonight and the weekend will be over.